Dan and Phil - Vocab
by esompthin
Summary: This doesn't have a plot, or a point. Its not even Phan. Its just me using my vocab words in a fanfic. Read if you want.


I have a vocab final tomorrow and this is how I chose to study.

(LINE)

"Another one did it." Dan grumbled as he read through the comments of his latest YouTube video.

Phil looked up from his DS and asked, "Did what?"

"Called me posh." Dan sighed and turned away from the computer screen. "I'm not posh. I just like words."

Phil cracked a smile at Dan's childish pout. His game forgotten he said, "What, does it _discomfit_ you?"

"No, but it's not a _malfeasance_ to have a good vocabulary!" Dan replied, muttering under his breath, "I blame Winnie the Pooh."

Phil rolled his eyes, typical of Dan to find something to complain about. If you looked around their little apartment, you would think they were _opulent_, considering how many expensive electronics and camera equipment they owned. They didn't have much to complain about at all; they had a roof over their heads, they had a _surfeit_ of food for them to munch on, and they never really got bored. In fact, they were in a very great place in their lives right now. They practically had fangirls creating _liturgies _outside their hotel rooms every time they went on a tour.

And yet, here's Dan, complaining about how the world views his vocabulary.

"The Tigger Movie was Pooh's _Magnum Opus_." Dan mumbled to himself, thinking more about his childhood hero. Thoughts of the cartoon seemed to of _stanched _Dan's earlier complaints. Or so Phil thought. But those complaints were _extant_, dormant even. Just resting in the back of Dan's mind to come up later down the road.

Down the road ended up being during the taping of their next video. It was a Q and A, for Dan's channel. Phil was in charge of picking the questions. After picking two or three _quintessential_ questions that lead to nowhere, Dan stole the laptop from his friend. "That's it, I'm _deposing_ you. You can't pick questions anymore!"

Phil was less than _ecstatic._ Being demoted wasn't very fun, after all.

They get their questions from their viewers in the form of tweets. Once Dan or Phil asks for some questions, the tweets come in _staunch_ and don't stop until the actual Q and A video is uploaded.

Still wanting to pick questions, Phil leaned over his friend's shoulder and read out loud, "Dan, are you a woman?"

"I'm going to be _candid_ with you." Dan started. He looked directly into the camera and deadpanned, "Yes."

The two laughed for a moment before picking another question.

"Describe each other in one word."

Phil looked over at Dan and said after a moment of hesitation, "Posh."

Dan looked_ livid_ as he hissed his answer to the question, "_Pallor_."

Which is true. Phil is as pale as a ghost. It's the first thing you notice about him. The second is his total _viridity_ and childish attitude.

Phil quickly read the next question. "What's the outside like?"

Dan blinked and said, "I don't know. I haven't been there. I suppose it would be _verdant_."

"And that big light bulb in the sky. It's probably_ incandescent_." Phil added helpfully.

The next question was a kind of serious one. It said, "How do you ignore all the _pejorative_ comments on your videos?"

"Ignore them."

"Burn their houses down."

"Oh." Phil glanced at Dan in slight surprise at his answer. Dan grinned wickedly in response.

The next question they chose was out of curiosity. It was, "Give a description about someone that might be considered _peccant_."

Dan smiled as he said overdramatically, "She is impossibly _impeccable_ in every way. It doesn't matter that she sees me as _negligible_. Or that when she leaves I am overcome with a wave of _malaise._ She is the light of my life. A beauty and honor to us all."

Phil looked slightly worried as he asked, "Who was that about?"

Dan's smile broke into a devious grin as he said, "Your mum."

Phil promptly hit Dan with a pillow. Dan chuckled and said, "But really, I should be_ feted_ for that one."

_Jocularly_, Phil _festooned_ a blanket over their laps and replied, "Yeah? Here's dinner right here." He gestured to the makeshift table that was their laps.

"What are we having?" Dan asked with false excitement.

Phil looked into the camera and said, "Danosaurs."

"Noo!" Dan cried, throwing the blanket off them.

They moved on to the next question.

"Write an_ elegy_ about each other?"

Dan glanced at Phil, "Wouldn't we have to be dead first?"

The other boy shrugged. "We could_ elegize_ something that happened in the past. Like a_ bacchic_ college party you went to once."

"I'm not going to write a song about a party, Phil." Dan said. "It would take too much effort." His _plaint_ was easily ignored, though and soon Dan was on his piano playing a small song about some _bacchic _party from months ago.

"It was _Jocose_;

It made me _languor_;

Like I was _somnolent_;

And _languid_;

After that party I wanted to_ languish_!"

Phil stared at Dan as he sat back down. There was a moment of silence in which both of them wished they didn't have to hear that again. "That…was terrible." Phil finally said.

Dan laughed, "I never said it would be good!"

"I feel like there needs to be some kind of _quittance_ for that one. You need to do some horrible challenge next week for making me listen to that." Phil said, thinking of something for Dan to do. The cinnamon challenge, maybe?

"Just thinking about that party made me feel _soporific_." Dan mumbled, leaning on his arm.

"Really? It was the party and not your horrible song writing skills?" Phil teased.

Dan rolled his eyes, "How about, for a _quittance_, I'll pay for pizza."

"Deal." Phil said without hesitation.

Dan ordered the pizza online with his laptop, as he did he said, "But you'll be the _vigilant_ one that has to go give the delivery boy the money."

After a moment of consideration, Phil finally _acquiesced_. He would have to deal with talking to the stranger for the small amount of time it took to give him the money. Anything for pizza.

Usually waiting for a pizza was the worst thing in the world. But _propitious _for them, they had these questions to distract them.

"Where do you find _auspices_?"

"In Phil's mum's bed."

"Would you consider our fanbase a _consortium_?"

"Only if they get paid."

"…Would that mean we have to pay them?"

"I hope not. I only got enough for that pizza."

"How did you and Phil meet?"

"It was a _fortuity_. He ran into me, literally ran into me, in high school. We've been friends ever since."

"What are you _destined_ for?"

"To have a pizza."

Phil snickered, "This video will be nothing but pizzas."

"Better than last time where we just _importuned_ PJ for spoilers on his next big project."

The pizza came then. Phil got up reluctantly as the doorbell rang. Dan answered a question about what he hated the most about the mall. He said, "When it's too _congested_ and you can't move without touching some stranger."

Phil returned, using the pizza as a _conferment,_ said, "If you're _propitiated,_ I'm _propitiated_."

Dan smiled thankfully taking a bite. "Pizza and I have the best _rapport_." He took a bite of the delicious food, and mumbled around his full mouth, "Oh yeah, this makes up for that horrid song."

Phil placed the pizza box on the _preferential_ of the camera's view, so it wouldn't be the main focus of the video anymore. Hopefully.

"Let the creative pizza juices _gestate_ in your stomach." Phil said, "Because our fans were really _importunate _when it came to the next few questions."

Dan glanced at the camera and said_,_ "Bring it on."

Phil read off the computer, "Do you have anything _vulgar_ to say?"

"Taxes." He said _monotonously_.

"Give a_ soliloquy_ about yourself?"

"After that failed _elegy_? No." Dan snorted.

Phil smirked as he looked for another question. "Would you consider yourself a _polyglot_ or a _polymath_?"

"I failed Spanish, so I'm going to go with a_ polymath_."

Phil looked into Dan's eyes as he said, "Anything you want to_ divulge_?"

Dan gulped as he glanced away from Phil and spoke softly, "Phil… I love…" He looked up into his best friends eyes and said, "Your mum."

The two laughed at that as Phil shouted, "Stop that!"

Dan's _consummate_ ability to ruin a mood could never be beaten.

Phil _parsed_ the pizza that sat a ways away from him. "It looked so much better with its _totality_. We could_ parcel_ the rest out between us."

"Sharing is caring." Dan replied, as _trenchant_ as ever. "But I'd rather have the_ holistic_ pizza to myself."

Phil shook his head, "I let you have all the pizzas when you dropped out of college."

"Yeah, but I was never going to do that _dissertation_."

The two looked into the camera that was still recording and smiled. "Sorry to_ truncate_ this video. But we have pizza left to eat." Was Phil's _assertion._

Dan was in the background, eating a bite from the_ nexus_ of each slice of pizza. Phil shouted at him, and then pulled the other boy forward so they could do an outro. Their arms were connected at a _ligature,_ where their elbows interlocked.

"Bye!" They shouted simultaneously into the camera.

(LINE)

I ended up skipping two or three words because I thought they were obvious. But yeah. There it is. What a piece of crap.


End file.
